Many of the clients I work with have an area in their life where they are lacking confidence.

So what is CONFIDENCE?



  1. the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something

– the state of feeling certain about the truth of something

– a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities

Confidence is simply an emotion (feeling), just like being happy, angry or frustrated. What is interesting, is that many people magnify and blow up confidence to be this mysterious thing that must be earned and is very fragile.

Is it?

Or is it just an emotion?

Let’s look at it another way, pick an emotion that many people are more well versed in. Worry. If you wanted to – couldn’t you right now, in a moment – bring up the emotion of worry?

Go ahead try it. Think about an uncertain situation you have in your life right now.

–        Maybe it is about your current employment situation

–        Your current unemployment situation

–        The health of yourself, or a loved one

–        The status, or future of a relationship

–        An area of your life that you wonder if you are “good enough”

I am sure you have a few cued up already that you have used in the past. Most people do, it is not hard for people to get there. And you can get there in a moment. Maybe you are triggered by a news article, a comment from a coworker, or just a passing thought.

Most worry comes from a sense of uncertainty.

Now come back to confidence for a minute. Confidence is an emotion that is usually on the polar end of worry, but it is still just an emotion.

Which is a more useful emotion? Which emotion gives you your best chance to succeed, solve problems, get creative, overcome adversity and just flat out make it happen?

What more could you accomplish if you were in a confident, certain state more often. Better yet, what would change if you could call that emotion whenever you needed it?

As I heard Tony Robbins once say; how do you know your dog is YOUR dog?




  You give it a name and train it to come when you call!



You can do the very same thing with confidence. Who are you when you are in that confident, certain emotional state? Name that person and bring that emotion up whenever you need it.

The easiest way to condition yourself for confidence is to recall a time in your life where you had great confidence. We all have areas of our life that we excel at and have achieved great things. Think back regarding some of your achievements. When did you really feel like you were unstoppable, like you could do anything? Remember what that felt like.

How did you stand?

How did you breathe?

What type of language did you use?

What type of thoughts ran through your head?

You see, confidence  is just a program that gets run when we are in that emotional state. You can reproduce that sequence whenever you like. The easiest way is to focus on your Physiology, or by how you use your body.

Did you know that just by changing your physiology (how you move, stand, breath etc) to a “power pose” you can alter the hormones in your body? According to a Harvard study, just by altering your physiology for two minutes you can increase your testosterone levels by 20%! By contrast, if you use your physiology the wrong way, you can decrease your testosterone by 10%. On the flip side your physiology can also decrease your cortisol (stress hormone) level by 25%.

Now why is this important?

Confident people tend to have higher levels of testosterone and lower levels of cortisol. This leads to not only more assertiveness and ability to seize the moment, but lower cortisol improves the way individuals react to stress.

Now you may be asking yourself what the heck is a “power pose”?

Power PoseSocial Psychologist Amy Cuddy who has done much of this research sited that “wonder woman pose” as one example.

Now don’t worry, you don’t have to look like Linda Carter to get the benefits, nor do you have to specifically use this pose. The commonalities are an expansive body posture. Think of an Olympian that crosses the finish line and throws his hands up to the sky and outstretched in a victory pose. Confidence 2 pose

Have fun with it, create your own!

Condition yourself to a state of confidence over and over again. Then just like with your dog, train it to come whenever called!


Your partner in Success,


Josh Paulsen